03.11.12 --- Long Gone...

Im right here standing looking for you
Yet your miles away though your laying right next to me
Your mouth says you love me yet the words hold emptiness
I don't know about us anymore
And I don't know what to do
The thing about the facts is that you're no longer with me
Physically you're here but ur mind and heart is somewhere else
Somebody help me somebody show me
How to restore our love and the hole in her heart
Am I enough? Together can we overcome?
Or am I just holding on to false hope?
Long gone and inside I'm raging
Where did I go wrong? Were there any signs?
Everything was looking up and out of nowhere it all went down
How is it a day with you is just another day?
Is it okay to feel this way, If I say I love you You say it right back
But I don't believe I don't feel anything towards you
Words are just words no actions your body language says otherwise
I forgot how to love you, I forgot how to touch you
Everybody looking from the outside in Why are they in our business?
Shaking my head looking side to side but no ones here to be by my side
Ugh Just got to move on.. "I used to love you
You used to love me babe, But now it just feels strange in your heart"-----

( "" = The Dream - Long Gone)

03.03.12 --- Together....

Just a moment of your time to explain whats on my mind
Let me tell you about a girl whose heart is filled with pure intentions and so kind
This girl is my wife
and the love of my life
Yeah we have our struggles but nobody compares to her
Running my fingers through her hair while she sleeps
Watching her dress infront of the mirror yeah you know I gotta peek
Skin so smooth smile so bright
Im about to get a little corny but I swear she is my light
Damn look what you've done to me
Got me trippin over my own feet and everyone can see
That I got it going on for you and everything you do
Who ever knew after we first met that you would be my boo
My boo thang my little strip tease
And If you ever think I'll dip on you baby girl please
I got you for life and you got me going crazy over you
Lay down with me and we'll multiply by twos
These sheets these ties this connection you blowing me the right way
I got to go to work soon but I wish I could stay
Never want to leave never want to go
I got 20 minutes left let me put on a show
That'll have you crying when I walk through that door
Make you truly believe you found something real nothing like before
Come here baby I'm you man
And I'm doing everything in my power to make you understand
That I'm the right here right now and forever more
So baby lets cut the bull we already have the perfect score----

02.27.12 --- Will I Make It?...

I just want to make it in this world
I try everything I can but you'll never understand
Everything I have now i built it with my own two hands
They say practice makes perfect
But after constant failures when I finally get there will it be worth it?
One day in the not so distant future I will accomplish what I seek
But all these trials and errors day after day week after week
It gets a little tense and the pressure seems too much
And my wife isn't here to grace me with her touch--
Of knowledge that lifts me whenever I'm feeling blue
Tell me how to help myself or direct me to a person who'll
Guide me, lead me teach me everything I need to know
You want to see my pain my face has plenty to show
Look into my eyes and see the heartache the torture the pain
I truly hope all my work and all my efforts won't be in vain----

02.27.12 --- Let Me Down...



No matter what I do you'll never be there for me
Throughout all my pain and suffering you never reached out
Talking for hours on the phone listening to your problems like a true friend
Giving advice and giving an listening ear
Yet the next day no thanks no recognition nothing
I always saw you to be the one who'll lift my spirits
Not be the one who'll let me down
Hoping you would come around giving you chances
Yet you would never come through
Never call me never reach out your hand
Falling falling hands reach up but no one is there
Betrayed and feelings of despair why did I choose you
You aren't a friend just another attention seeker
Taking everything never giving just want to feel wanted and adored
Well you have 400 other friends supposedly let them catch you next time
I'm walking away have you crawling in the mud
Like you've done to me times and times before
Let it all break let it all fall
Let you stare in shock while everything around you slowly crumbles
Till you see the impact I had on your life
Till you realize I wasn't just some stepping stone to help you get farther
But that pebble that help together your whole foundation
Remove that pebble and everything comes crashing down
Let this be my thanks for having a wonderful friend like you ----

02.25.12 --- Lying Dormant...



Faithful Husband Loving Father
It seems like nothing in this world can become a bother
Though his only enemy is himself alter-ego
This other side of him that he just can't let go
L we'll call him who wants to cheat wants to have fun
The one who everytime theres a fight he wants to run
Run away from the problems and wants to live his own life
No cares in the world nobody on his mind not even his wife
Spend that money talk to whoever
Too easily swayed by the world drifting high light as a feather
Temptation in all its meaning he seduces himself to do wrong
No matter how hard he tries it just seems like it won't be long
Until L is uncaged unleashed to wreck havoc to wreck his own home
The one who wants to say fuck it and is always looking twice at the phone
To pick it up and call an ex past lover and tear it all down
Everything he has built chaos all around
Till there is only silence and then he will lay dormant once more
So he can see what he has done no more sunny days now it just pours
L will laugh and smile when tears fill his eyes
"You knew this would happen don't act so surprised"
Just one of many demons that slumbers inside of him well he ever be free?
Or will he be consumed slowly dying like leaves falling from the trees
Slowly becoming rotten from the inside out
Confusion and hatred running through his mind trying to understand what it's all about
Why he has this other side why will he be his own demise?
He's made it this far by not being unwise
He knows only he has the power to stop this capsize
He knows his own power and everything that applies
If he lets it go loses his common sense
It sometimes becomes unbearable the feeling becomes so intense
Cradle position lying on the floor
Too much he has going on everythings perfect, No he won't lose everything he adores
Standing up looking at himself in the mirror
He can't do this by himself so he looks to his wife to be his anchor
Hold him down be his peace of mind
The foundation the monument of light she'll never leave him behind
Make him stronger help him heal
Stay by his side and help him survive this ordeal
Show him he's so much more then his past
That with you by his side you know everything you've created will last
Tell him you have faith in him that he rid himself of this demon
Guide him towards the light the truth let yourself be his beacon-----

02.23.12 --- Cigarette Smoke...



Smoke lifting passions flowing
Lighter flicking flames glowing
Just a breeze is all it takes, just like all we need is a beat
To change its direction as we change positions
Blowing it up blowing it down as we explore each others bodies
Inhale exhale girl catch your breath
Going to hard has you feeling light-headed
Suck it all in gently burning in your chest
Your body is to me what menthol is to most, nothing can compare
Chain smoking, Back breaking hour after hour
Knowing it's no good for you but yet you're addicted
Nicotine fix get this protein shake warming your body
Make a design wisping through the air with your finger
Smoke swirling and swirling mind seeing colors
Too much got you the shakes body trembling at the touch of my finger tips
Cigarette half way through clip it no need to exhaust it all
Save some for later whenever you need some more

You see cigarette smoke and sex are one in the same
Fornication seems as beautiful as the smoke drifting away has you caught in a daze
Both are wrong yet we feel no need to stop
Both are free to wander and is produced by whomever uses
Pleasure given to whoever is in need for it -----

02.15.12 --- Mind of the Generation...

You see the little girl just 16 of age
You're 25 and you're going to make a pass
Not keeping in mind that this is someones daughter
Someones future mother, someones heart
No you're doing it for your own devious plans
Tainted meets innocence and you want to rob her of it
She's too young to understand the games youre playing with her mind
She thinks you love her that youll always be there for her
Not knowing you only want her to satisfy your hunger your body your flesh
Calling her baby yet talking smack behind her back
You use her to fill any holes you have within yourself
Look into her eyes when she cries when she finally realizes
Heartbroken and abused at your mercy
As her elder she stood next to you looked up to you
To protect her to guide her yet you led her astray
16 and pregnant now and you're nowhere to be found
She thinks everything over and over everything you said
Lies deception shes destroyed
She looks out the window unwilling not ready for her responsibilities in hand
The razor touches her wrist and a single tear rolls down her cheek
Blood drips on the floor trickling down her fingers
Why little boy no man in my eyes Did you let her down?

02.09.12 --- Right Here Right Now



Water ripples as the rock splashes in
Gentle breeze caressing my cheeks brushing my nose
Looking over the horizon trying to figure out what I'm doing
Where I'm going and if someone is coming with me
I gaze at this world with an open mind
But yet I try to be humble as a child
To understand why things are the way they are
Poverty crime disease genocide
So much Evil in this world yet I found peace right here right now
By the water front as the sun bears down and the sea gulls fly high
I look behind me knowing its a mistake
All that floods my mind is whats going on out there in the shadows the places that hide from the light
I have to remain focused or else I'll get lost - lost along with the rest of the carnal flesh
I know only a few understand and have reason like I do
So many if they heard this would laugh or say I'm crazy
But the things I've commited in this flesh, sins I dare not repeat
I look forward again and watch the ducks trail behind each other
Much like my family, The supporter and protector in the front
And the loved ones in back, it will sacrifice it's own life to save those which it loves
Much like myself,
My lips want to curse, my mind filled with guilt and greed
Why does a heart like mine have to be in such a tainted body
Wishing to be cleansed that simply jumping in this bay will rid me of this filth
But the flowers... flowers blooming despite the garbage laying at it's feet
Does this mean I too can become something beautiful out of this turmoil?
I stand up and turn around ready to face this world head on
No longer will I be subdued by my own flesh but I'll follow my heart
The one thing that I know will always lead me straight never astray......

10.18.11 --- Did It Even Matter?....

Thought this was real I thought this was true
How many times am I going to fall because of you
Thinking about when I first took you out
Conversations endless I thought I knew what you were all about
Telling me about wanting to be loved and being heartbroken before
So I showed you that other side of me trying to tell you whats in store
If you were with me and not him but now you're gone chasing him once again
Why did I try Why did I show you my love now we can't be friends
Opened myself to you and you ditch me for the next
Knowing I'm a better man but you left me for your ex
Who abused you tossed you around like a childs play toy
Why did you leave me alone when I wanted to be your main boy?
He apologizes and you go right back
Trying to build you up but self- respect is what you lack
You don't need him move on to something new
Now don't try to call me when your feeling blue
You see you were the one I would have been dedicated to
But it doesn't matter now I want nothing to do with you
You're going to be lonely
You're going to be looking for me
But I won't be around no I refuse
To be chewed up swished around and used
I guess you were my punishment I should have taken it slow
Now You left me lonely again feeling so down and low
Did I even matter?
Were you the wisq and I was the batter?
You see I was working with you trying to make you strong
But you went running back and now you're gone
When he puts his hands on you again I won't be here to play the fool
You going back and forth between me and him isn't cool
Just so you know I believed in you now you're like a broken fender
You're like a unwanted letter return to sender
Did it even matter everything that happened between us?
When I took you in everytime you and him had a fuss
Nah baby Be lonely on your own You won't bring me down
In the water screaming for help I was there but now you can drown
In your sadness emptiness you did this to yourself
You're just another empty frame no picture that I put upon this shelf
I made us whole but now you let us shatter
Shaking my head asking myself... Did it even matter?