03.11.12 --- Long Gone...

Im right here standing looking for you
Yet your miles away though your laying right next to me
Your mouth says you love me yet the words hold emptiness
I don't know about us anymore
And I don't know what to do
The thing about the facts is that you're no longer with me
Physically you're here but ur mind and heart is somewhere else
Somebody help me somebody show me
How to restore our love and the hole in her heart
Am I enough? Together can we overcome?
Or am I just holding on to false hope?
Long gone and inside I'm raging
Where did I go wrong? Were there any signs?
Everything was looking up and out of nowhere it all went down
How is it a day with you is just another day?
Is it okay to feel this way, If I say I love you You say it right back
But I don't believe I don't feel anything towards you
Words are just words no actions your body language says otherwise
I forgot how to love you, I forgot how to touch you
Everybody looking from the outside in Why are they in our business?
Shaking my head looking side to side but no ones here to be by my side
Ugh Just got to move on.. "I used to love you
You used to love me babe, But now it just feels strange in your heart"-----

( "" = The Dream - Long Gone)

02.27.12 --- Let Me Down...



No matter what I do you'll never be there for me
Throughout all my pain and suffering you never reached out
Talking for hours on the phone listening to your problems like a true friend
Giving advice and giving an listening ear
Yet the next day no thanks no recognition nothing
I always saw you to be the one who'll lift my spirits
Not be the one who'll let me down
Hoping you would come around giving you chances
Yet you would never come through
Never call me never reach out your hand
Falling falling hands reach up but no one is there
Betrayed and feelings of despair why did I choose you
You aren't a friend just another attention seeker
Taking everything never giving just want to feel wanted and adored
Well you have 400 other friends supposedly let them catch you next time
I'm walking away have you crawling in the mud
Like you've done to me times and times before
Let it all break let it all fall
Let you stare in shock while everything around you slowly crumbles
Till you see the impact I had on your life
Till you realize I wasn't just some stepping stone to help you get farther
But that pebble that help together your whole foundation
Remove that pebble and everything comes crashing down
Let this be my thanks for having a wonderful friend like you ----

11.09.09 --- Sadness

I'm on the verge on the brink
I try to clear my mind but I cant think
Mass confusion surrounds me
A dark shadow has befallen me
Feeling like im alone yet I got all these females around me
People smile think its all good but they don’t see the real me
I try to stand tall yet all I seem to do is crumble and fall
Its like in the end its like theres no one here for me at all
I got girls on the side but they cant satisfy my thirst
My craving to be loved but that’s not the worst
Falling deeper and deeper into this hole
Sadness tears thru my mind body and soul
Is it so much to ask to have sumone to hold
Everyone I want their love is already sold
Given to another
Will I ever feel what couples experience with each other?
Im afraid to love afraid to care
To tear down my walls do I dare?
Always a fairy tale beginning but we all know how it ends
Heart break too strong where we can never even be friends
Sweet misery is what I feel they seem so good yet they bad
Always try to make them into the thing I never had
Lying here on my bed wondering if my dream will come true
Waiting for that right one to just pop up out the blue
Devastating tragedy
Look at what has become of me
Darkened tainted from my past
I maybe happy for awhile but it never seems to last
So I often wonder if ill ever find true love
Wondering if ill ever find that one
The one to grow old with the one who’ll have my son
The one who completes me and makes my eyes see brighter days
But that dream is quickly fading away
So here in this bed under these sheets I shall lay
Tears fallin on my pillow I know its sad to say
I think im not strong enough but I guess ill never know
Away from all these fake people I want to pack up and go
These females lust for me but forget it my heart beats slow
They don’t want my love just what I have to offer down below
Lost and confused in this cold cruel environment
Too many writings I wrote too many love offers I’ve sent
Crying on the inside smiling on the outside
Playing with females now but I stay loyal and true on the flipside
Right now its What ever happens happens I simply don’t care
Cuz the heartache the pain is too much to bear…