04.04.13 --- Bitter Sweet...

Just trying to understand
How to better myself and be a man
Trying to change myself for you
The one that brings me up yet makes me feel so blue
The love of my life the woman of my dreams
Used to tell me we'd be together forever never thought you'd switch teams
Wishy washy bi polar disorder
Doesn't she see how hard I've fought for her
Saying I'm the only one for her yet going down the list on why I'm not right
Used to be next to me by my side now far out in the horizon almost out of sight
How do I close the distance in between us to get things to a better place?
How you used to touch me and tell me sweet things passionate lovemaking at a fast pace
Am I really that messed up as a person or is it on both ends?
She wants to do anything she wants no consequences breaking up but wants to remain friends?
How can you be with another when the one who you know has your heart is here waiting
For you to come back for you to realize It should be more simple without all this hating
Destruction of a one in a life time love when will you see what you need is right here
I told you I want you to have my seed and have my hand in marriage now all I have are these tears
Standing outside on the balcony looking at the water view raining pouring down
When we get together it's like how things were before but once I leave I always end up with a frown
You never want to talk never want to see me but once I'm there its ily's and say you'll never leave me
Why are you messing with my head baby why is this love so bitter sweet?
These are the questions and memories that spiral in my head once I'm leaving you going down the street----

02.27.12 --- Will I Make It?...

I just want to make it in this world
I try everything I can but you'll never understand
Everything I have now i built it with my own two hands
They say practice makes perfect
But after constant failures when I finally get there will it be worth it?
One day in the not so distant future I will accomplish what I seek
But all these trials and errors day after day week after week
It gets a little tense and the pressure seems too much
And my wife isn't here to grace me with her touch--
Of knowledge that lifts me whenever I'm feeling blue
Tell me how to help myself or direct me to a person who'll
Guide me, lead me teach me everything I need to know
You want to see my pain my face has plenty to show
Look into my eyes and see the heartache the torture the pain
I truly hope all my work and all my efforts won't be in vain----

02.27.12 --- Let Me Down...



No matter what I do you'll never be there for me
Throughout all my pain and suffering you never reached out
Talking for hours on the phone listening to your problems like a true friend
Giving advice and giving an listening ear
Yet the next day no thanks no recognition nothing
I always saw you to be the one who'll lift my spirits
Not be the one who'll let me down
Hoping you would come around giving you chances
Yet you would never come through
Never call me never reach out your hand
Falling falling hands reach up but no one is there
Betrayed and feelings of despair why did I choose you
You aren't a friend just another attention seeker
Taking everything never giving just want to feel wanted and adored
Well you have 400 other friends supposedly let them catch you next time
I'm walking away have you crawling in the mud
Like you've done to me times and times before
Let it all break let it all fall
Let you stare in shock while everything around you slowly crumbles
Till you see the impact I had on your life
Till you realize I wasn't just some stepping stone to help you get farther
But that pebble that help together your whole foundation
Remove that pebble and everything comes crashing down
Let this be my thanks for having a wonderful friend like you ----