04.04.13 --- Bitter Sweet...

Just trying to understand
How to better myself and be a man
Trying to change myself for you
The one that brings me up yet makes me feel so blue
The love of my life the woman of my dreams
Used to tell me we'd be together forever never thought you'd switch teams
Wishy washy bi polar disorder
Doesn't she see how hard I've fought for her
Saying I'm the only one for her yet going down the list on why I'm not right
Used to be next to me by my side now far out in the horizon almost out of sight
How do I close the distance in between us to get things to a better place?
How you used to touch me and tell me sweet things passionate lovemaking at a fast pace
Am I really that messed up as a person or is it on both ends?
She wants to do anything she wants no consequences breaking up but wants to remain friends?
How can you be with another when the one who you know has your heart is here waiting
For you to come back for you to realize It should be more simple without all this hating
Destruction of a one in a life time love when will you see what you need is right here
I told you I want you to have my seed and have my hand in marriage now all I have are these tears
Standing outside on the balcony looking at the water view raining pouring down
When we get together it's like how things were before but once I leave I always end up with a frown
You never want to talk never want to see me but once I'm there its ily's and say you'll never leave me
Why are you messing with my head baby why is this love so bitter sweet?
These are the questions and memories that spiral in my head once I'm leaving you going down the street----

03.11.12 --- Long Gone...

Im right here standing looking for you
Yet your miles away though your laying right next to me
Your mouth says you love me yet the words hold emptiness
I don't know about us anymore
And I don't know what to do
The thing about the facts is that you're no longer with me
Physically you're here but ur mind and heart is somewhere else
Somebody help me somebody show me
How to restore our love and the hole in her heart
Am I enough? Together can we overcome?
Or am I just holding on to false hope?
Long gone and inside I'm raging
Where did I go wrong? Were there any signs?
Everything was looking up and out of nowhere it all went down
How is it a day with you is just another day?
Is it okay to feel this way, If I say I love you You say it right back
But I don't believe I don't feel anything towards you
Words are just words no actions your body language says otherwise
I forgot how to love you, I forgot how to touch you
Everybody looking from the outside in Why are they in our business?
Shaking my head looking side to side but no ones here to be by my side
Ugh Just got to move on.. "I used to love you
You used to love me babe, But now it just feels strange in your heart"-----

( "" = The Dream - Long Gone)

02.27.12 --- Let Me Down...



No matter what I do you'll never be there for me
Throughout all my pain and suffering you never reached out
Talking for hours on the phone listening to your problems like a true friend
Giving advice and giving an listening ear
Yet the next day no thanks no recognition nothing
I always saw you to be the one who'll lift my spirits
Not be the one who'll let me down
Hoping you would come around giving you chances
Yet you would never come through
Never call me never reach out your hand
Falling falling hands reach up but no one is there
Betrayed and feelings of despair why did I choose you
You aren't a friend just another attention seeker
Taking everything never giving just want to feel wanted and adored
Well you have 400 other friends supposedly let them catch you next time
I'm walking away have you crawling in the mud
Like you've done to me times and times before
Let it all break let it all fall
Let you stare in shock while everything around you slowly crumbles
Till you see the impact I had on your life
Till you realize I wasn't just some stepping stone to help you get farther
But that pebble that help together your whole foundation
Remove that pebble and everything comes crashing down
Let this be my thanks for having a wonderful friend like you ----

02.25.12 --- Lying Dormant...



Faithful Husband Loving Father
It seems like nothing in this world can become a bother
Though his only enemy is himself alter-ego
This other side of him that he just can't let go
L we'll call him who wants to cheat wants to have fun
The one who everytime theres a fight he wants to run
Run away from the problems and wants to live his own life
No cares in the world nobody on his mind not even his wife
Spend that money talk to whoever
Too easily swayed by the world drifting high light as a feather
Temptation in all its meaning he seduces himself to do wrong
No matter how hard he tries it just seems like it won't be long
Until L is uncaged unleashed to wreck havoc to wreck his own home
The one who wants to say fuck it and is always looking twice at the phone
To pick it up and call an ex past lover and tear it all down
Everything he has built chaos all around
Till there is only silence and then he will lay dormant once more
So he can see what he has done no more sunny days now it just pours
L will laugh and smile when tears fill his eyes
"You knew this would happen don't act so surprised"
Just one of many demons that slumbers inside of him well he ever be free?
Or will he be consumed slowly dying like leaves falling from the trees
Slowly becoming rotten from the inside out
Confusion and hatred running through his mind trying to understand what it's all about
Why he has this other side why will he be his own demise?
He's made it this far by not being unwise
He knows only he has the power to stop this capsize
He knows his own power and everything that applies
If he lets it go loses his common sense
It sometimes becomes unbearable the feeling becomes so intense
Cradle position lying on the floor
Too much he has going on everythings perfect, No he won't lose everything he adores
Standing up looking at himself in the mirror
He can't do this by himself so he looks to his wife to be his anchor
Hold him down be his peace of mind
The foundation the monument of light she'll never leave him behind
Make him stronger help him heal
Stay by his side and help him survive this ordeal
Show him he's so much more then his past
That with you by his side you know everything you've created will last
Tell him you have faith in him that he rid himself of this demon
Guide him towards the light the truth let yourself be his beacon-----