05.05.13 --- Same Thing Different Girl...

Its been years so much time as past
Yet in every new girl I see you no wonder it didnt last
The way they carry themselves the things they do
Just reminding me of all the sick shit you used to do
Lying decieving, Messing around behind my back
And I thought it was me, thought it was something that I lacked
And here I am same story with a different girl, different yet similiar
Trying to make it work giving my all wishing I never met her
Believing it was just me and her just like how you used to make me feel
How she looks into my eyes and tells me she loves me making me think its for real
Why can't she stay faithful brush those sinful thoughts to the side
So many have laid in this bed stating they would be my ride or die
I guess I can't get over you because I'm reminded daily
Of the pain and heartache you put me through
Now I'm scared to love but I continue to love hard
Will I find the right one before my heart ends up broken in shards
Unable to trust unable to forgive
Becoming a cold hearted male always committing sins
But Id never put another through what I went through want her to simply feel loved
Give her something new but i guess she takes it for granted that I'll always be here
Giving her chances to appreciate me for all the things I do
Satisfy her, provide for her, be the man who--
Demostrates that she'll never need another
The man who provides all her essential needs and places no one else above her
How many times will I be lied to? How many times will she cheat?
How many times will I be shamed and treated like a dead beat?
How many times will I allow myself to be degraded to less then of my worth?
Tell me what I have to do tell me what will finally be enough?

04.07.13 --- One Of Those Nights...

Come into my room and close the door
I'm not one of those dudes thats going to hurt you like before
I just want a couple of hours with you an exchange of emotions
We can chill on the balcony over seeing the ocean
Water rippling as my tongue explores your skin
Lets share each others pain as we envelope in this sin
We know this kind of hurt feel it pulsate with every heart beat
I don't care if you have a boyfriend for right now have him take the backseat
He doesn't understand what you've been through not like me
Judge just by how I caress you gentle loving care Let me show you how things should be
Vibes coming off your lips trembling as they kiss me urging me to take you
Take your pain even if it's only temporary I'm going to show you just exactly how I do
Foreign beauty so young
Let me bring you to a world only I know and this passionate love making has only just begun
Let my extension penetrate that void that insatiable hole let me fill it up to every wall
Feel it hit those tender spots swallow it fully help me now take it all
Squeeze it tighter to let me know you want it tell me go fast
I have the endurance keep up with me because I want to make this last
Beautiful colors exploding in your mind has this job been completed
Have I accomplished the goal has your pain been defeated
Void closing up and my extension doesn't want to leave
Stay here with me and as for your boyfriend let that dude be
Lets sleep right here in this moment but you have to go
Thank me for the therapy keep it moving let it flow
I'm used to it by now this is my heartache
No matter how good my love is they always leave
Maybe one day one of them will appreciate my love
And forever remain mine-----

04.04.13 --- Bitter Sweet...

Just trying to understand
How to better myself and be a man
Trying to change myself for you
The one that brings me up yet makes me feel so blue
The love of my life the woman of my dreams
Used to tell me we'd be together forever never thought you'd switch teams
Wishy washy bi polar disorder
Doesn't she see how hard I've fought for her
Saying I'm the only one for her yet going down the list on why I'm not right
Used to be next to me by my side now far out in the horizon almost out of sight
How do I close the distance in between us to get things to a better place?
How you used to touch me and tell me sweet things passionate lovemaking at a fast pace
Am I really that messed up as a person or is it on both ends?
She wants to do anything she wants no consequences breaking up but wants to remain friends?
How can you be with another when the one who you know has your heart is here waiting
For you to come back for you to realize It should be more simple without all this hating
Destruction of a one in a life time love when will you see what you need is right here
I told you I want you to have my seed and have my hand in marriage now all I have are these tears
Standing outside on the balcony looking at the water view raining pouring down
When we get together it's like how things were before but once I leave I always end up with a frown
You never want to talk never want to see me but once I'm there its ily's and say you'll never leave me
Why are you messing with my head baby why is this love so bitter sweet?
These are the questions and memories that spiral in my head once I'm leaving you going down the street----