10.27.11 --- Without You...

Just me sitting up in this lonely room
Sad angry Just trying to vent out these fumes
Been a couple days without recieving a call
Feeling like these leaves becoming dead in the mist of fall
Without you I'm nobody I'm just a shadow of a former me
Wheres my light my glow That obviously happy man that people see
Wondering what you're doing was the other night the last time?
Did you leave for some freedom and some peace of mind?
Falling down those levels going through depression stages
I thought you and me had this love that would last throughout the ages
You're down to earth I'm flying up high
Thinking about our future when all along you were trying to say good bye
Where do I go from here? plundering down further
Trying my hardest to treat her right never thought I'd hurt her
Now I'm laying here without you trying to focus on my life
But how can I when I lost my lover my girl my heart my wife
Was living for her but now I have no motivation
Was it me? Was it my needs? or my presentation?
I loved her and she loved me too but I went past our boundaries
But I'll still do everything I can if she would just allow me---

10.25.11 --- Ready For Love...

Love---That word and all its meanings I'm ready
I'll care for you so passionately work my way up to you so steady
Ringing in my ears like a sweet melody
Waiting for so long what took you so long to get to me
You might find me a bit immature but always for you I long
Joy and pain I'll embrace because with you is where I belong
I want to recieve you want to feel your warm glow
Let it rock steady feel it cruise through my veins let it flow
Feel it so pure and honest and real
Make your way to my heart tear down these iron fenced walls go for the steal
Break that golden bronze seal
That welcomes no one go in and my body begin to heal
Emotions, Feelings, Pain, And Sorrow
Make me feel safe like I'll know you'll be here tomorrow
I'll say your name again- love
Protect me I'll adore you Cover me like a glove
Let all the heartaches bounce off and let the true in
Open up my mind You're so sweet but you're not a sin
I'm ready for love with my hands out reaching
I'll be humble like a child yearning for your teachings
Sunlight pouring on my face in an open field so innocent
Never see those rainy days so grim and malevolent
Take me in your arms lift me up above my life
Teach me how to rid myself of insecurities so I can do right by my wife
Help me find the inner me
Let me show it for her eyes to see
And we will grow strong, fearless, fanatic all the above
Believe me when I say I'm ready for love----

10.18.11 --- Did It Even Matter?....

Thought this was real I thought this was true
How many times am I going to fall because of you
Thinking about when I first took you out
Conversations endless I thought I knew what you were all about
Telling me about wanting to be loved and being heartbroken before
So I showed you that other side of me trying to tell you whats in store
If you were with me and not him but now you're gone chasing him once again
Why did I try Why did I show you my love now we can't be friends
Opened myself to you and you ditch me for the next
Knowing I'm a better man but you left me for your ex
Who abused you tossed you around like a childs play toy
Why did you leave me alone when I wanted to be your main boy?
He apologizes and you go right back
Trying to build you up but self- respect is what you lack
You don't need him move on to something new
Now don't try to call me when your feeling blue
You see you were the one I would have been dedicated to
But it doesn't matter now I want nothing to do with you
You're going to be lonely
You're going to be looking for me
But I won't be around no I refuse
To be chewed up swished around and used
I guess you were my punishment I should have taken it slow
Now You left me lonely again feeling so down and low
Did I even matter?
Were you the wisq and I was the batter?
You see I was working with you trying to make you strong
But you went running back and now you're gone
When he puts his hands on you again I won't be here to play the fool
You going back and forth between me and him isn't cool
Just so you know I believed in you now you're like a broken fender
You're like a unwanted letter return to sender
Did it even matter everything that happened between us?
When I took you in everytime you and him had a fuss
Nah baby Be lonely on your own You won't bring me down
In the water screaming for help I was there but now you can drown
In your sadness emptiness you did this to yourself
You're just another empty frame no picture that I put upon this shelf
I made us whole but now you let us shatter
Shaking my head asking myself... Did it even matter?

10.15.11 --- Give it a Try...

Give your heart to me, let me hold it in my hand
Let me protect it with my life, through anything it'll be able to withstand
Let me take away your pain even though I contributed to a few
Give it a try this thing between me and you
Trying to keep it simple but what would you say?
If I asked you to save me from drowning in sin if I asked you to stay
Nurse me back to health help me grow strong to be a better man
I'll take our love on a journey to paradise from wastes to a better land
What if i was to say I love you would you feel the emotion in the words?
Put that chain on me I want to be bound to your love no longer like these birds
Soaring high free spirits with no direction in life
Give me that title as the only one and to me you'll be my wife
Just give it a try girl, Hold me in your arms let me whisper everything you want to hear
Promises, secrets, melodies flowing into your ears
Don't break the links of this chain, enforce it to handle anything lift any weight
Everything between us will be endearment, infatuation, friendship never hate
Be my partner as we build this foundation that'll last to the very end
Lets start things off slow we together but yet we're still friends
Lets embrace this magic Try to comprehend how this feels
Use your body your lips its your tender touch that heals---
These sorrows from my past, oh baby take it all away
Make the sun shine through these skies of gray
Teach me the ancient language of love
And hold me near when push comes to shove
Entrapped by your beauty You I will never get rid of
Your smile your figure your skin you're the reminiscent of
A queen to be labored for to please to seduce all of the above
You deserve that good good, anything and everything that courtly love
Favor me for all time, Make me first on your list
Flash backs of the first time we kissed
Right here in this room catalogued into my memory
And you were more then just an acquaintance more like a sacred friend to me
Take all this in, Get lifted and fly
Into the unknown, possibilities endless, Come on girl and give it a try---

10.05.11 --- Crazy...

2 years and you're ready to walk out that door

I can't say I'm surprised like this hasn't happened before

But what comes as a shock is him this new guy

You're married to me and before you wouldn't give him a chance not even a hi

But now you say you're interested you want to be with him such a shame

That you're feeling this way though you're married to me sharing my last name

This situation we can push past we can grow stronger

But it seems like you want to be free can you hold on to me an longer?

I'm going crazy thinking about him kissing you holding you touching you

Pain throbs throughout my chest my heart breaking

Smoking drinking to numb the pain my body shaking

Why should I have to fight for what is already mine?

I refuse to just let this marriage end just me watching on the sideline

Pull through girl run into my arms we can withstand this storm

Please don't pull out those papers I won't sign those forms

Remember the day I proposed Remember when we first made love?

Remember the nights when we held each other remember all the above

How you going to let that go?

And no I'm not flipping out just to put on a show

Damn right I love you

I will never leave you

All I want is to embrace you

Just give me a chance to please you...

See forget that other guy he's not your principle

You trying to hold on to him when he's just the substitute

You see my heart isn't divided I only want you

Through the pain the heartache I still wanted you

I always remained true

I always was there whenever you were feeling blue

If it wasn't for you Ill still be stuck in the game

Dating different chicks not even knowing their name

Now let me simplify We belong together

That couple that'll always be down for one another

Come back to me shawty You know where you want to be

And that's right here with me

How long will it take for you to see?

That you have a home and a loving husband no reason to flee

Please I'm crazy without you Make me whole again baby....

09.25.11 --- So High...

Sour D's got me lifted I'm soaring so high

Here you come into the scene in your cute little outfit looking so fly

Damn I want to hit especially with the way I'm feeling

Show me what you bringing to the table give me that sexual healing

Pop it for me drop it down show me the deal

And you looking at me like you want it so maybe you will

Is this the L making all this happen? It seems so real

I'm going to whisper in your ear - got to let you know it's your heart I'm trying to steal

Bring that body closer tell me you feel the same

Tell me how bad you want me and then say my name --

in that sexy tone let me know whats really good

Yeah I know you bad yet sweet show me whats really hood

Give me that ghetto love back it up on me

twine it grind it slide it up on me

Ain't no way you're not going to love me, cause now I'm going to shine

Take it downtown on you I'm put my mark on you to let you know you're mine

Come with me baby I'll take you to the rendezvous

Get everything hot and heavy down to a slight cruise

Slow strokes making your body tremble

And I'm taking my time I'm trying my best to be humble

We can do anything you want to do take a moment to realize
that we can do anything that it is that you fantasize

Sour D's got me tripping

You're body I'm flipping

Into different positions

Take a break These daiquiri's we sipping

Dang my high coming down where the Joint at?

Lets take a couple more hits now where were we at?

Oh yeah, *clears throat* now bounce up on me take me for a ride

Kevin Little- Turn me on --- Bring everything out got nothing left to hide

Make me moan

make me gasp

make me bust

make me groan

Be as loud as you want cause we're all alone

Sweat beating down your body yeh you put in work

Now bend over back in to it for a little it might hurt

Loosen up a bit before I go all in

This just like the olympics I'm in it to win

And just before we climax I snap back- you walk in through the door

"Hey Angel", you say- dang I must of zoned out looking foolish laying on the floor

I chuckle hey whats going on- Thinking If only I wasn't so high

That I would of realized that all that was just a lie

Lets put this blunt down I'm good for now I look at her and just *sigh*--

09.22.11 --- Mind Of A Crazed Man...

Run from me before this monster emerges

Darkness surrounds me and I get lost in my anger

All I see is red, everyone is my enemy

They have to be destroyed have to be torn apart

So they'll never hurt me again

I have to survive I have to live

So they must fall down on the ground in their own blood

I scream I scream deafening to the ear

Energy surging through my body

Heart pounding adrenline running

I have to smash something something has to break

I'm confused why am I doing this

Anger took over I'm no longer thinking reasonably

Forget it I'll embrace it

Get away stay away take back everything you did and said

Bed sheets stained red

Get beat get cut get tossed to the wall

You've pushed me too far and now you're scared

I tried to warn you I told you many times

Now stare at the monster you created it might be the last thing you see

Please stop I'm sorry- words sound foreign to my ears
Where were these words before? nowhere cause you didnt care

You said whatever and didn't think there'll be any consequences?

Now it's set free this demon I've unleashed

Come on come at me Fight to your last breath

Because I'm coming at you with this blade with evil intentions

See the tip shine as I raise it in the moonlight

Body trembling blade comes down your feet go numb

Now feel your blood warm you as it drips drips drips

Oh my God what have I done....

I hear sirens in the background drawing ever closer

I take one look back and then I start to run...

09.22.11 --- My Baby Boy...

5 months old and you're the love of my life
Holding you in my arms having fun with you and my wife
I want you to know I'm going to do my best to be a dad
I'll work do what ever it takes to give you everything I never had
You gave me another reason to start living life
When I look at you everything goes away this heartache pain and strife
When you smile I smile baby boy I love you so
Even if you grow up to be a jerk I'll never let you go
You are my son a splitting image of myself
And I love your mom for all of her support and help
One day you'll understand all the sacrifice I've made for you
You'll understand how much I love we put in with everything we do
So many dirty diapers and baths and hugs and kisses
I hope I'm here throughout your life I don't want to miss anything
lets get off the poetry for a second son I love you
I care for you, Im devoted to you
I want the best for you and I hope you love me in return
Your 5 months today 5 years old the next and teenager before I know it
And I want you to know that through all that I'm here for you
I will never disown you or look down on you
I want you to surpass me and be a better man then I
Be a better father for your son and a better husband for that special lady
My baby boy I Love You So
And I'm writing this now so in any event of my demise you'll know

09.22.11 --- If Only...

If only you understood how I felt inside

If only you knew how to bring my feelings to light

If only you knew all the times I didn't want to fight

Creepin out at night to do my own thing things I don't really want to do

Just want to talk to someone and it's sad cause I can't turn to you

Everytime I say something you get mad cause it's not what you want to hear

So I keep everything inside because it's all I can do, can you tell me why?

It's like after everythings said and done you'd rather say bye then hi

How these other girls are starting to look good it shouldn't be like this

What happened to those nights of eternal bliss

Where it was only me and you now I want to move on to another

I thought forever and always we'll have each other

Nights in the bed making love getting down and dirty

But now theres none of that only both of us hurting

If only you can feel how I love you

Chipping at both our hearts its a matter of time before they fall apart

If only I could turn back these hands of time and get it right from the start

I have posion running through my system

Tell my emotions and my feelings towards you I'll miss em

If only you let me be a man and do what I want to do here and there

Instead of telling me no controling me with that stone cold stare

Why do you just sit down and tell me what a waste I am, Cause I'm always to blame

Mistakes I made, the things I've said sometimes I feel this is all a game

In this relationship of two I feel I'm walking alone

Footsteps in the sand 5 ft back This place is not a home

If only you could put your pride aside and trust me for just a second

Maybe we wouldn't be in this situation thats becoming hectic

Inside I want to scream Outside I want something to hit

So I leave and smoke a cigarette just to calm down a little bit

If only you realized I really wanted to be here for you

All these things I can't tell you, Such a shame... If only you Knew...

6-20-11 --- Through It All...

Baby now I come to you

As humble as I know how......

From all the emotions and the pain

I still believe we have so much to gain

Through it all i still love you and my love grows every day

I Love you your body your smile just you in every single way

I'm sorry for all the hurt I put you through messing with your mind

The times when I chose to be hurtful instead of kind

I love you i love you please believe its true

I can't stand to think there'll never be a me and you

You're my girl my lover my wife please just take my hand

And i'll hold you in my arms take you to a sunset laying together on the sand

I'm asking you to hold on be that ride or die

With you I'm a winner and I feel so high

Bringing me to the top right next to me is you

Let this love burn enveloping everything cause you're the only one who--

Can make me feel this way take me out of this hell

Cause I know this love is a sure thing- Miguel

Yeh thats right and you know it's our song

It relates so much because you and I belong

We two different people thats why we unusual and you'll agree the same

But I know you love it cause you're always calling my name

Just lettng you know that I'm giving this my all

Cause through everything I'm here right now refusing to let us fall